There are few things I sternly put my foot down about at
home. However, there are times when you just have to make it clear that some
things are just not acceptable – some behaviors forbidden, especially when it
comes to language. In my house there is one four-letter word that needs to be avoided
at all costs. The mere mention of this word can corrupt minds young and old and
send you down the path of self-destruction with the very temptation of its use.
The word is Etsy.
Do you see how easily it rolls off the tongue, as if it was
there since the dawning of time instead of just created less than ten years
ago? Did you just hear a musical carousel start to play because this word is
just so cute that it almost screams “Go! Have fun!” in your head? Can you feel
its grip as it lures you toward the statement silk bow bracelet that entwines
around your wrist on a metal plated bangle? Do you find yourself wondering how
any bride can glide down the aisle without a red floral fascinator headband? I
mean seriously, it’s not even fair to leave the house without a cool tote back
that says “I like big books and I cannot lie” – am I right?
Of course I’m not right. I’m insane. You have to admit that
spending more than four minutes on Etsy could certainly lead to insanity in that I
Have to Have This kind of way.
Fortunately, I am not much of a shopper. I’m a search and
seize kind of girl. Show me a mall and I’ll show you a bad excuse for wildly
overpriced shoes, sushi and spatulas. Etsy sells shoes and spatulas (not
sushi). I had no idea there were so many kinds of spatulas. I’m feeling like
I’ve led a bit of a sheltered life now.
Etsy sells everything. Just for kicks I typed the word soul in the Etsy search bar. They
actually sell souls. Well, not souls, technically. But there was some kind of
soul eater doll, which seriously creeps me out even though it was kind of
adorable.
Unfortunately, that non-shopping gene did not extend to my
children. No, no – they got their father’s penchant for purchases. And this is
why Etsy needs to be banned from our home.
My husband doesn’t really know what Etsy is. If you brought
Etsy up in front of him right now he would probably say “What’s an Etsy?” This
is the same reaction we got when we were making fun of Jersey Shore a few years
ago and he asked “What’s a Snookie?” So he’s not really an issue, as long as
Home Depot doesn’t start selling on Etsy.
Here’s the problem with banning it at home and having no
control over any other environment.
Our oldest daughter has a life of her own in Philadelphia.
She has been exposed to and has helped support Etsy, Amazon, Ikea – all the
tricks of the trade that reel people in. My only glimmer of hope is that she
and her future husband are saving for their honeymoon… and hopefully groceries.
Our youngest daughter is what you might call a stress
shopper. This stress shopping tends to occur when she is 8 hours away at college.
I’m pretty sure I am aware of maybe half of her Etsy purchases. The really sick
part is that her shopping triumphs at Etsy have most likely encouraged her to
find bargains at other websites who adore college students with work-study jobs
and debit cards.
So I need to teach this kid how to better handle stress or hope
she graduates in three years with a guaranteed job that can link her pay
directly to the Etsy shopping cart.
That is, as soon as I can tear myself away from this vintage orange tin box with the parrot in a birdcage design. So cute!
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