This week has been an offspring’s worst nightmare. Our
wedding anniversary was this past Tuesday, my birthday was Friday, and tomorrow is
Mother’s Day. It’s a triple whammy for my daughters, who really do try to rise
to the occasion (in this case, occasions) and come up with cards and gifts for
at least two of those events.
One of the most wonderful things my family has done over the years is to donate to a charity that is near and dear to my heart in honor of this
frenzy of Mom activity. I love it and I’m always touched to the point of tears
when I receive a certificate celebrating their gift. That should be generous
enough, right? Well, yes. Seriously, I mean it.
Except I really need a heating
pad.
The thing is, I am years past the hinting stage. These days
subtlety gets shoved aside for specific requests. Often a website link is even
mysteriously emailed to both children and their father for guidance. Would I
trust them to order the correct size and color of my next heating pad? I think
not.
I’m perfectly content with receiving just one well thought
out gift (that they followed my directions to order). It doesn’t have to be
something for our anniversary, my birthday, and Mother’s Day… unless they
really want to shower me with several items to demonstrate their adoration. I’m
certainly not ungrateful enough to turn away such generosity.
I’m also not insane. If I can get away with having someone
else make one breakfast and maybe one dinner during this six-day period of my
self-appointed Queendom, I’ll feel like I’ve been given a golden ticket.
More often than not, having so many momentous celebrations
in a short period of time can backfire. It’s like having your birthday on
December 20 - chances are slim those presents are going to be doubled up. You
can’t really request two big-ticket items too close together, so that means
having to suggest that the family celebrates another holiday of sorts around
June or July – like National Doughnut Day or Compliment Your Mirror Day.
Let’s talk about the anniversary for a moment. After 31
years we tend to wait until the last minute to choose the right card to express
our feelings. In fact, as I write this column the night before our anniversary,
Spouse has dragged Second Born (freshly home from college for the summer) with
him in pursuit of the perfect sentiment. I didn’t even try to look clueless as
they walked out the door after dinner. By the way, I was way ahead of the game…
I picked up a card hours earlier.
We’re fine with not having an extravagant celebration on our
anniversary. It’s fun to go out to dinner or plan some interesting outing, and
we have done so on occasion over the years. There are some years, like this one
for instance, where our day falls smack in the middle of a work week. Considering
our weekday starts at 5 a.m., I think we’ll probably both be happy to get
take-out and relax while watching NCIS.
We also don’t expect our children to necessarily kick in for
this occasion – it’s ours alone, though we always do enjoy the creative messages
they write on our cards.
If anyone happens to ask what I would like to do this week,
I may suggest a drive for some local ice cream as part of our wild and crazy
festivities. I also have my eye on some plants for the front yard, and maybe we
can take a ride to the mall for some of my favorite candles. I know it sounds
like I’m trying to get the most out of having thrice the reason to be spoiled,
but I’m more realistic than that. It’s obviously not going to all happen at
once.
I’ll save some for National Left Hander’s Day.
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