Last week I joined Spouse and some of his work pals for a
Friday night get together at a local restaurant. It’s always fun to meet up
with the people who work with my mate and to hear their stories about him. I
like having ammunition for future reference.
The coworkers teased about working with the hubby and asked
me what the secret was to keeping him in line. I had to smile when I replied,
“The Look.”
It took many years of practice on two children to perfect
The Look before I even attempted it with Spouse. I have to admit it wasn’t very
effective when the kids were each going through the Terrible Threes but I was
able to get some training in during the middle school years. I swear, if such a
force could be harnessed we would have world peace.
On this particular evening the place was hopping with many
tables of folks celebrating the end of the week. Next to our table was a family
with several children who demonstrated better manners than some of the adults
in the restaurant. One of Spouse’s coworkers mentioned how impressed he was
with their behavior and I was just about to respond, when we both glanced over
and found ourselves within startled range of The Look.
One of the moms from the neighboring table, eyes piercing,
lips pursed, bore down on a youngster who had apparently crossed the Behavior
line. He visibly froze for a moment and then proceeded to eat his dinner
without a peep. On the seat across from me the questioning coworker uttered,
“Whoa – I think I just witnessed ‘It’” – and suddenly sat up a little
straighter on his bench.
If you are a parent, chances are you not only understand
what I’m talking about, you have experienced the influence of this mysterious
gift yourself. It’s not always The Look that gets the point across, though.
When I was growing up it was my dad who carried the burden
of disciplining me much of the time. There was nothing like hearing, “Just wait
until your father gets home,” to make me want to hide in my room. I wasn’t
afraid of my dad but I hated disappointing him, which he was very aware of. The
best way to make me straighten out was to give a little backward wave of his
hand, let out a little “Ahh” kind of groan and turn away in frustration. Let me tell you, The Look had nothing
over The Backward Wave.
My mom was a major influence on my everyday conduct and
behavior, but she could never pull off the expression that would stop me in my
tracks. It didn’t help that I was more like my dad and he seemed to know what I
was thinking before I did. It also didn’t help that my irritatingly
well-behaved sister did nothing to deflect his attention from my antics.
When our daughters were school age I would bring them to
work on occasion for a visit. One day my boss remarked that he was impressed
with how well behaved and respectful the girls were whenever they visited. He
caught me off-guard when he continued with, “I can see why – you have The
Look.” I hadn’t realized I was that good at it.
I know every parent has a way of clearly indicating their
offspring should reconsider their actions or be grounded for life. If your
child is too young at the moment to understand and respond to The Look, don’t
despair. You’ll have plenty of time to perfect this method when they enter
middle school and become proficient at their own method of communicating.
The Eye-Roll.
LOL! Excellent. When my daughter was growing up (she's 41 now) and with my granddaughters, 8 and 11, I, too, have always employed The Look and a very soft, calm way of publicly giving them warning. I call it being Voice Controlled.
ReplyDeleteI can raise one eyebrow, which has held me in good stead.
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