Lyrical Laughs

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Even Mainers have their limits - don't they?

I have a confession. I miss seeing the UPS delivery guys wearing shorts. It’s not because they have great legs, though it’s a bit frustrating that they all have better legs than me. It’s really because that means it’s too cold for them to challenge each other by seeing who can stand the cold the longest. They’ve given up, every one of them. I even saw one wearing a winter cap last week. What’s that all about?

This is the first time during our 20 years living in Maine that a cold snap is so long it should be called a cold snap, crackle, pop. Three of my Christmas presents had to do with staying warm: socks, gloves and a blanket scarf. I’ve been wearing pajama pants under my office slacks for the past week. Walking two blocks from the parking garage to my office each day, I’m so encased in winter garb that I would probably fall straight back if someone bumped into me.

Every Christmas morning for the past nine years, we have gone to the beach for the sunrise. The weather has not been cooperative every time, and this year was no exception. Because of the clouds and beginning of a snowy day, Spouse suggested we put our sunrise visit off until January 1. Sure, I thought, that sounds like a good idea.

On the first day of 2018, I woke up around 6:15 a.m., checked my cell phone to see what the temperature was, flipped over my pillow and went back to sleep. I’m one of those people that loves traditions. However, I also believe that getting out of a perfectly comfortable, warm bed and putting on several layers to see the sunrise when the thermometer reads negative 16 degrees should simply not be an option.

First Born came into our world on a late September day, so she was just a tiny thing that first winter. I remember dressing her up in her fuzzy purple snow suit. With her arms and legs sticking straight out, she looked like an adorable star fish. Adults, don’t try to pull this look off – it’s not half as cute.

Smoke on the water
Now that we’re ensconced in what I’m hoping is the worst of winter temps, how many of you see a warmer climate – which, at this point, is anything above 20 degrees - in your immediate future? I have some advice for you. Don’t go to Kansas. I know what you’re thinking. Who would go to Kansas by choice anyway, right? I'm teasing, Sis. Mostly.

You may recall that my mom, sister and extended family live in Kansas. Normally my sister spends the winter commenting about how much she doesn’t miss New England weather. She woke up to negative 12 degrees recently. Noooo, that wasn't me snickering. And I shouldn't anyway - we have one car that has not yet been unleashed from the snow and we can't see out of our driveway.

If you have decided enough is enough and you’re tired of hearing the furnace kick on, before you book that flight to a tropical paradise, make sure your passport is up-to-date. As of January 22, Maine residents will no longer be able to use their license for identification on flights. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how it works for a return trip. Does that mean if you fly out on January 21, you can’t fly back until your passport is updated? Is it possible to get “stuck” in a tropical paradise? I’m going to bet the answer is no, but hey, I can dream.

My passport is updated because I’ll be doing some traveling this spring to exciting places like Ohio and, of course, Kansas. They had better warm up before then. Otherwise, I could just stay home and dream about the UPS driver’s legs.

1 comment:

  1. We are experiencing the longest and worst cold spell in years. Single digits, wind chills in the negatives, lots of snow - we rarely get snow on the Jersey coast. All area Polar Bear plunges postponed on Jan. 1 and then cancelled - still too cold. I am ready for spring! Hang in there - this too will pass...