It is almost impossible to live in New England and not have
some interaction with a rabid fan of the New England Patriots. From the
beginning of football season in September until the playoffs, their stats tend
to be water cooler fodder, Uber analysis, and occasionally a softly spoken
prayer uttered during church. I think it must be a law that true fans have to
use the phrase “we” any time they are discussing their favorite team.
We really wiped the floor with those guys.
We’re in the lead.
We’re going to the Super Bowl.
Really? This “we” stuff is beyond me. I didn’t see you in
the team line-up or on the field – not even on the side with a striped shirt
and a whistle. Nope, you were home on your sofa or at your local watering hole
yelling at the television screen, and the closest you got to investing in the
team’s welfare was your Patriots t-shirt, and guess what? Dick’s Sporting Goods
reaped the majority of that profit.
My teasing is all in good fun and fandom. I am particularly
sensitive to the Patriots’ enthusiastic admirers. The team is, after all, heading
to the Super Bowl for the tenth time, which is a phenomenal feat. But... well, nobody’s
perfect.
During middle school Second Born participated in
cheerleading – the most unlikely activity for her to choose – for one season.
She confesses now to not being the coach’s favorite, since she tended to be “too
busy” to attend practice half the time, but she did get to board a bus with her
team mates for a day at Gillette Stadium. Her dad, being the kind and generous
soul that he is, volunteered to chaperone. It’s a tough job but someone has to
do it.
The afternoon was crammed with activity, including an
inflatable obstacle course for the visiting cheerleaders and an autograph
session with the Patriots, but Second Born only has one clear memory of the
day.
![]() |
Anybody got a pen? |
Tom Brady stole someone’s pen.
Yup, everyone has a dark side. All right, maybe not a dark side exactly.
The story goes like this. The New England Patriots appeared
during that afternoon to visit with fans who stood least six deep in
anticipation of gleaning a treasured autograph. Second Born tried to shove her
tiny body through the wall of adults who had somehow forgotten this was for the
kids that they had chaperoned, but it was fairly futile. She was, however, able
to witness The Moment. Brady had accepted a pen from an excited fan hoping for
an autograph, signed one or two footballs that were shoved in his direction –
neither of them belonging to the pen owner – and turned and walked off with pen
in hand.
“Did he just –?”
“Yeah, he did.”
That’s right, you heard it here first. Tom Brady took
possession. Of a pen. You think you know a guy.
What might have prompted this misdemeanor? Did the GOAT
simply forget that he hadn’t been holding a pen when he first appeared? Or was
he given a directive? Perhaps Belichick gave his team a pep talk ahead of time,
much like he does before each game.
“Hey guys, we’re having a great year but you know, this
fancy stadium isn’t cheap to maintain. We’ve had to cut back on a few things,
like office supplies… see what you can do.”
We’ll never know, I suppose.
This Sunday there will be a whole lot of well-deserved cheering
going on for the Patriots. Maybe one of you has a connection to the team –
excuse me, I mean our team - and can share my thoughts with them. If you’re
reading this, Tom (Brady, that is), I wish you the best of luck Sunday.
Now, about that pen.
No comments:
Post a Comment